COURage

Greetings all and gratitude as well. Today’s theme is COURage. As you will no doubt remember from the last post, I mentioned that one of the parts of the fuel of Perseverance (in addition to motivation and commitment) is COURage. I separated this concept out of that discussion because COURage is a broad spectrum, multipurpose fuel additive for manifesting our dreams. It doesn’t just apply in terms of keeping us going when the proverbial chips are down. Perseverance is actually COURage’s secondary allegiance. It’s necessary when we feel we can’t go on, or when we feel like we’re struggling, or when things seem their darkest. But COURage is also, and simply as a matter of function, a necessary part of beginning the process of DreamCatching.

So many people have come up to me in the last few weeks just brimming with admiration for what they keep calling my bravery for undergoing this project, for putting myself out there, and for making my dream important enough to manifest it. And I couldn’t remember the part when I’d been so brave. Standing in front of them receiving accolades didn’t feel like a very vulnerable position, it didn’t seem that the bravery I was being praised for possessing was actually present when I was being patted on the back. I started to think, “No it doesn’t take any bravery, it just takes realizing that the world really needs us to be who we are, then it’s almost more difficult not to do that”.

But I wasn’t looking deep enough. It wasn’t until Natalie arrived and she reminded me just how “nervous” (as she put it) that I’d seemed leading up to and embarking on this journey. And I remembered in the flush of blood through my face — I had had to be brave. I did have to muster the COURage to launch into this unknown with nothing but my faith that it would all work out at least all right. I even ordered new business cards at the time that said on the back: “be brave. be who you dream.”; and while I consciously thought I was coming up with that to encourage other people, I now realize that it was a classic Freudian (not-slip-but) Affirmation.

I was telling myself to be brave. Even though I was putting it on a card I would be handing to others, it was a message for all of us.

And it does take COURage to begin. It does take COURage to leap from the edge of what you know and are used to experiencing, toward something in which all that you are capable of having is faith. It takes COURage to Sh¡ne, to be our own Most-Me’s. It takes COURage to trUst ourselves, and to trust the world to accept us as we really are. It takes COURage to go after what we want in a world that says you only get what you need, and maybe not even that…

But here’s the secret about COURage: it’s not a pure element. COURage is not just something you have or you don’t. COURage is cultivated (or not), it is nourished (or not), and it is mixed from other elements within us (or not). The other secret about COURage is that you only have to apply it in moments, or at turns. There’s almost no situation (other than the most atrocious) in which we need to stay existing in a state of constant bravery. Even in humanity’s wild history, even fighting daily for survival, COURage is/has been only episodically necessary.

So you don’t have to think of it as something you either always have or never will.

What got me to leap off the edge was just a little bit of COURage — based on wanting to lead a fulfilling life, and on thinking I might always regret it if I didn’t, and assuming it couldn’t be all that bad but maybe really great. And then I was leapt! I couldn’t take it back. I couldn’t say, “No, I don’t want to be brave anymore…”. I was committed because I’d had just enough COURage to jump.

After that, it was all navigation. I just dealt with everything that showed up because of my initial bravery(s). It wasn’t until near the end that I again needed my COURage to stay in it, to see it through, and to do what still needed doing. And I mustered it then from a sincere desire not to give up (commitment), and the delicious pull to see it all through (motivation). Necessity may be the Mother of Invention, but Necessity’s lover is COURage.

And so I want to reiterate the call to your bravery. Do be brave. Do be who you dream of being. And do use your COURage to get you through — and only as often as you need it. You won’t have to rest in a state of COURage all the time — it just takes enough to get you to leap, and then a little more when you begin to think of giving up. All the rest of the time you can be thrillingly unnerved by how brave you’re capable of being.

The word COURage comes from the same Latin root for “Heart”, and it’s also where we get the word “Core”. It takes heart to make COURage, and whenever we need to look for more COURage within ourselves, that’s always the place to start. All COURage is born of heart, of caring, of passion, of Love. When we need it (and remember that’s just every now and then, in most cases), we can look to the core of ourselves, to our own hearts, to our own self-ness and extend our bravery out from there. And using whatever amalgam makes the most (emotional) sense for where we are at the time, we can generate our COURage from that core place, from what matters most there then. For me in the example above, it was commitment and motivation that helped me make COURage. In some other given situation it might come from indignation and concern for the rights of others; or it might be made from the love of your child and the responsibility you feel for keeping her safe; or it could come from a desire to not regret missing an opportunity, and belief in your abilities to evolve and or excel in it. You already have everything you need to make all the COURage you can use.

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I moved back out into the real world today. It took as much COURage then as it did to step into the project at the Brink. I’m not the same person I was being before. I’m more me than I’ve ever been able to be previously. And I’m moving from a controlled environment where that was set up to be acceptable, into the uncontrolled environment(s) of real life, with my Me costume still on. I feel braver out here than I did moving in. But I’ve got conviction now, and a mission, and the strong feeling that I’d regret not being this me more now than I would’ve regretted not doing the DreamCatching project in the first place.

And so I’m saying to us all, and may we all remember to: be brave when we need to, but to be who we dream all the time! The world needs that from us as much or more than we each do. And we owe it to ourselves and the world to live it.

And now for the last of the currently known pictures from the show:

Last night I made a ritual of gratitude for this opportunity I’ve been able to enjoy, and a sending of light out to all others who have dreams they want to make come true. Then I took several pictures of spots I really like in the visual piece. The box of embroidery thread… As well as the subdivided box of individual colors of the embroidery thread… And the tiny window of sky-and-cloud embroidery thread, too!The compartment tile…
The Chanukah Candle Stub Star… The Lead Locking Plate Vortex with analog digital readout! Plastic Homogenized Heart versus Block Heart in the Sea of Dryer Lint… The Left End… Lighter Guts Assemblage… Plastic Heart’s Reflector Transcendence… The Last Supper — which ended up being mostly catered by the wonderful people at El Cazador (my neighbors for the month). The whole shebang from outside!The whole photo capture of the progression.And the whole shebang from INside.

I miss it all so much already. But I carry it all with me so much as well.  I hope I can move forward from it as bravely as I moved into it.

And I can’t help but feel so immensely grateful — to myself, to all the people involved, and to the universe which heard my heart calling and responded in kind. I feel so blessed and so thankful that I can’t get a grip on it. I just have to let it overflow and appreciate it.

So be it!

∞

Be well, my fellow DreamCatchers. Be who you dream!

Perseverance!

Greetings life-art fans!

Today’s theme is Perseverance and it’s a vital skill to cultivate for any long term endeavor — and particularly DreamCatching. We have to be able to stick to it, to see it through, and to stay in it, until we manifest what we’ve we dreamed. I think of Perseverance as a powerful backup generator that runs almost exclusively on a mixture of motivation, commitment, and courage, and kicks in just as the initial bursts and success are wearing off the steam of the endeavor to realize our dreams. We need our Perseverance to continue on through the “dark night” to the light of our own fruition.

The motivation in the fuel of Perseverance, of course, comes from the dreams we’re trying to catch — they lead out before us, drawing us onward whenever we think about what it will be like to experience  them, to live them. We can, as often as necessary, steep and re-steep ourselves in the visceral experience of why this dream matters, of why we’re doing it, of what we’ll get from it, and/or what it all means to us. We can make the motivation fresh and strong again, just by dwelling with that part of the whole endeavor.

The commitment to our individual dreams, the level of “I can’t not do this” that we feel about realizing them, is a key component of the fuel of perseverance. This is a matter of powerfully engaging the will to spur the steed of intention. We add commitment by turning up the motivation, by getting clear about who we are and why we are here, and by affirming the rightness of our chosen course(s).

The last piece is courage and that’s the theme for tomorrow. I’ll tell you about it then!

In the meantime, here’s some fun things to look at:

The Florence, again, in her evening wear. Such a fashionable lady… At our Dance and Dance and More night last Friday, Javier Ryan, floored us all with his stunning Operetta, plus two delightful bookending songs. At each interval in the half hour piece, Javier would pause and narrate the scenes and necessary back plots with such vivd detail that it was easy to see the stage set and the characters brought to life in the melodic and lyrical lattice of the music lighting from this singular local star. I had the sincere pleasure of teaming up with Tricia Opstad on a quartet of movement bits that we created based on a concept I’ve been playing with, called “Transactions”. All of the pieces were focused on moments of transactional interaction between two individuals. One mocks an exchange of mutually appreciated goods, an orange for money, from a beginning place of contemplation and choice through to the point of smooth mechanization and beyond to havoc and break down of the system of exchange.  Another showed a clandestine hot-potato exchange, with an at-first concealed object which was then slowly revealed to be an egg, ending with a harried back and forth, “you take it no you take it” pass off until, you guessed it, smash! But the egg was empty!

We also passed ribbons, one character passing them off as unwanted, the other reveling in the beauty and experience of each one. This culminated in the first character throwing the whole ball of ribbons into the chest of the latter. Then the two last characters were bouncing a ball of the wall with each other and making noises with their mouths each time they threw the ball. The noises included laughter, moans, explosions, bouncy sounds, and more. Then one character slams the ball and sends it flying away, the noises she made with her mouth trailing off after it. The other character takes a plastic bag of tea out of his pocket and slams it on to the floor as though to bounce it. But it claps onto the floor and splits, spilling tea across the floor. … Yep!

Then Tricia performed a dance piece that she designed and choreographed for this performance called “Leg Oh Leg”. It began with her pulverizing and emptying bags of various items like shredded paper and fabric, along with making vocalizations of haunting, buzzing, whining thoughts and mumblings. Then at some point, bird song erupts into the space, and dog growls, and trains blaring passed, and a guitar slashes through the cacophony and it’s ZZTopp doing the first riff and lyrics of “She’s Got Legs” over and over, then leaping forward to “The girl is all right…”. And through this Tricia was powerfully using and moving her legs, bending, lurching, marching, climbing the wall, as though the legs themselves were the only dancers in the room. Then she and the music wound down, and she folded slowly, easily into a sleeping position and the music faded out. Then Jet Lavender busted out the bootiful rhythms for us to shake all of our legs for another hour. Steven Chord let us test out the Mason’s new light trees. It was a gorgeous, fun night, to say the least.

Maybe too fun for one young man and several cops and motorists out that night. After a half hour of this view (as this was an almost regular occurrence on this block of Missoula, I didn’t take as much notice or as immediately as I might otherwise seeing six police cars all converging in one spot and not even letting traffic move though),  I decided to go have a look. Then I saw the man who was face down and actually hog-tied, shouting “”Where is the sun!” or something which sounded just like that over and over again along with other chants, until the ambulance pulled up, and they lifted the man bodily onto the gurney and hauled him away shouting.

It was the crescendo version of what has happened here every single weekend I’ve lived at the Brink.  I got up just a little bit earlier the other morning and caught this ray of light sneaking in the front glass as the sun was on its way to leaping over head, as it does each day leaving the front of the Brink in shadow. You wouldn’t know it was ever there if you weren’t there for it. I suppose that’s true of everything though, eh? My parents rolled in from Alabama for the last weekend of the show. My Mom dutifully helped roll tiny strips of paper for me. My (Step- for those of you keeping score)Dad came to our candlelight yoga class and afterward, said, “That’s how it’s supposed to be”. Natalie and Echo got back to Missoula and have come over each day since. On Saturday we got to have Xi over too, so it was like my whole family (just missing our Bella, girl…) was installed in the gallery for several hours. I was in a blissful heaven of art and family.Ever-partnered in our thoughts and endeavors, Natalie has been my other set of hands for most of the time that she’s been here. I keep checking in and realigning our visions; and this could otherwise be a strange version of our working together because we have always been equal parties on our collaborations, but Natalie was automatic in her assumption of an assistant role, even referring to herself in describing it to Echo and Xi as though she were my “robot”. I preferred a more genteel description, but you get the point. That had an unfamiliarity about it, to be sure, but it felt absolutely appropriate for the time and place. And I appreciated it so much. Natalie is an efficient and esthetically astute set of other hands to have!
In addition to  my Mom and Natalie, I want to thank Jeff Medley and Joy French for their paper-rolling expertise, as well. Additionally, I want to thank Cathy Mae, Allison, Tabitha, Jules, Jeanne, Daniel, Mikki and Max, and Jeff and my parents again (and any one else I am temporarily forgetting) for bringing me necessary items, you helped me survive. Martin and James, thanks for your help with the video and streaming stuff.
Peoples, thank you for holding me gently. For treating me kindly, For loving me just for being myself in front of you. Remember that’s how it works as you come out more and more as your beautifully amazing plain old selves. We’ll love your most-me!

∞

Be well.

TrUst

Ladies, gentlemen, and all of us in between — greetings and salutations from the Brink!

Today’s theme is trUst. One of the overwhelming motifs of this entire project (the art, the collaborations, the coaching sessions, the interactions I’ve had with gallery visitors, the experience of living on Front St.) all distills into the concept of trUst. Self-trUst that we can live and maneuver and express ourselves as we authentically think and feel and create; trUst in community to accept us as we are and enrich us as we grow; and trUst in the universal process of which we all are part.

It’s a nice package deal, these levels of trUst. They feed each other and fit together in a healthy system. When we’re brave enough to trUst ourselves to truly sh!ne who we are — to let ourSelves, our individual most-me’s, out — then we have an opportunity to be seen and met by others with whom we resonate. We can form a community that shares our values because we’ve been plain and honest about them (without having to be threatening or “in [anyone’s] face” about it, because that’s counter to being trUst-worthy). Those people will accept us as we are, and because we resonate with each other, we can both provide the space for that acceptance, and encourage each other onward in that vein. From this space of celebration of our individuality and our interrelatedness, even remarkably differing communities can recognize the value of the sense of significance and belonging that other communities offer to their constituents. Psycho-emotionally, as a species, I think we are making the transition from communities, organizations, and groups that seek to isolate members and thwart or even destroy outsiders, toward ones that recognize more and deeper levels of the value of our diversity, and the gift of our individuality.

We’re each here to belong and to honour our own significance.

The final piece of the “package deal” above is that the more we settle into a comfortable spot of trusting ourselves, being in trusted community, and growing who we are; the more we get to experience ourselves as being in our own flow, in our own tune with everything, vividly, actively, richly in our own version(s) of life. When we ride that sweet wave, we can surf all day without even trying… And we feel buoyed by the universe, supported in our efforts to become and let out who we most are; because we aren’t stopping it up to try and belong, or fit our curves into those funny square holes. In that space we are being what we were born to be.

And that experience of rightness and flow and cosmic support/connection is what life is all about, right? When we feel that level of “good”, when we float and/or sink into that version of being, we can do anything. We can do what we were always meant to.

And we will.

TrUst is the theme — you’ll no doubt notice that “you” are at the center of it all. That’s not by accident. It all always comes back to you, my friends. This is your life. You’ve got to get it while you can. And the skeleton key to unlocking it’s potential is you trUsting you to be you.

You’re beautiful and brilliant and worthy of carrying the light you carry. You don’t have to hide it. ❤

And now for some pictures!

Some of you have seen this one already, but I wanted to pass it along to those who haven’t, and show you the result(s) thus far. I think I’ve got it figured out that these are the locking plates used in clamping and setting sections of rebar in a wall when one is pouring concrete. At any rate, here’s their vortex on the concrete floor of the Brink… And then up on the wall.And here’s the vortex’s cousin hovering over Plastic Heart’s Reflector-Transcendence… You know, over by the Dead Lighter Nebula…?This lovely bird sat so long doing nothing under this car parked right in front of the gallery window where I was working the other day, that I stepped out to make sure it wasn’t injured or in shock. She skittered a bit at my approach, so I backed off, and back she came to rest under the engine. I snapped several pictures of her and went back to work before she disappeared with no ado.   Marc Moss of Missoula’s own Tell Us Something hosted a “Story Jam” at the Brink last evening. Story-tellers could sign up and tell a 5-minute story on any subject. Somewhat unfortunately, the turn-out was stilted by an event across the street we didn’t know about at the time of arranging ours which held about 200 of Tell Us Something’s normal audience… Nevertheless some great stories were told. Later in the night, the Avant-Garde Alliance made the windows reverberate, and the Meta Dreamcatcher in the front window sway with their densely layered and potent beauty. Sax player and longtime Missoula friend, Nathan Hoyme, told me that the band discussed and planned before they began playing to use my art piece to score their improvisations. And I was certainly jazzed and inspired by the sweet, grungy, soaring tones and dynamic rhythms they blasted and sprinkled and sewed into the gallery last night! You can see a couple more shots of them in “The View from Here” in the left side bar <—.You might have noticed these two watching over the band above. These are the puppets that the amazing Jeff Medley made for the reading we did at the Performance Parts night last Friday. We told almost no one that the puppets were going to be part of the reading; then we got up in front of the curtain Craig Domes had made for us all, with our scripts in hand as if we going to stand and read together; and at the last second, we spun around and ducked behind the curtain, threw on the puppets and had them be the characters in the scene. It was a hoot! Jeff said they could hang here for now, and it seemed appropriate. Here’s the current capture of the state of the wall. Well not “current” now… But it was until just now.

I didn’t take pictures, but the Spirit Canoe and Group Journeying Circle with local shaman, Marge Hulburt, was a resounding success with just shy of a dozen people walking away with a power animal with whom to begin working, and almost double that many of us working together to make and paddle the Spirit Canoe. It was such a lovely, quiet, and at times thunderous, and all around compelling evening.

More on the way… Stay tuned! And up to date.

∞

Be well.

P.S. Here’s my NPR moment — We were able to launch on time, and we’ve been running everything that needs running and getting what needs getting, but we’re still about $800.00 below budget for this show. In order to keep the live stream going and continue the show as planned, we need those extra funds in place. If you’re liking what you’re seeing here, and enjoying the live camera feed, and/or coming down and enjoying the free events I’ve collaborated on and hosted, may I gently encourage you to navigate over to the gofundme campaign for the show and make a small contribution to the cause? Thank you on behalf of all the artists and community that we are nurturing. ❤

INtegrity

Hiya friends! A quick post today to share with you a few things…

The theme for today is INtegrity. Being willing to wear our truth(s) on the outside. Being willing to stand for that which we believe. And continuing to do so, even when it isn’t convenient.

It’s part daring honesty, part stick-to-it-ive-ness, part soundness, and part ethical allegiance. And it all comes from withIN ourselves. INtegrity is thinking globally but acting personally. It’s how we are when no one’s watching. And it’s how we stand in our selves when the world seeks to change us.

I’ve been seeing people working with their INtegrity this last week in particular, seeking to get truer and truer to their own cores. And that takes courage. And a willingness to be seen as what we really are. Not everyone will agree with the choices we make for our own INtegrity, and that’s ok. INtegrity wouldn’t be INtegrity if it was managed or mandated or controlled from the outside.

*

Today, I also wanted to briefly give a shout out and a heaping helping of gratitude to Erin of Ebb and Flow massage therapy. She came down Wednesday and rearranged my body and put it all back where it’s supposed to be, both physically and energetically. If you need it, you need Erin…

Additionally, a special thanks, again and anew, to Hot House Yoga for letting me use the shower there. And Bruce at Wallworks Gym, too, who’s also offered the use of a shower there. Thanks for helping me keep clean, y’all! On behalf of myself and everyone else…!

And now for a few pics!

I forgot the other day, so I wanted to just quickly share this lovely photo of The Painted Kangaroos getting their capes on before they came down to the Brink on Monday to deliver a fistful of scissors to me for my project. It was so fun to have them in the gallery! And the scissors were a much needed item. Thanks Painted Kangaroos! You guys rock! Here’s a shot from the hallway just outside of the fishbowl, I mean gallery. It’s the only view I can get that is far enough away to really consider the full scope of the composition as it develops. And it shows how lovely the space itself is as well. Some current things with which I’m playing. Glass Wave-Peak-Thingies…Lead Locking Plate Vortex… And the current panorama from the Daily Capture.

Tonight we have a few delicious morsels of musical and performative shinanagry for your inspirational dining pleasure; featuring: Jenny Lynn, Bethany Joyce, Elizabeth Hunter, Ashley Corrinn Jerman, Craig Domes, Jeff Medley, Jeanne Pencek, and me! Kicks off at 8! Non-local audience members can check out the live camera feed. We should be broadcasting on both channels.

Tomorrow night, we shift gears into the ethereal and welcome local shaman, Marge Hulburt, who will lead us in evening of Core Shamanistic ritual. Attendees will have the opportunity to receive a power animal spirit (some call this a totem) of their own, as well as work together on a group journey called The Spirit Canoe.

The night after that, Sunday for those of you keeping score, is a super-secret event. I’m sorry I’m not permitted to tell you something about it, but come on down at 6pm if you want to hear the whole, brief story. Then stick around for inspiring tunes from the Avant Garde Alliance at 8pm.

More coming up next week!

Remain true to yourself, my friends.

∞

Be well.

Follow—>Through!

Greetings from the Brink!

Today’s theme is Follow—>Through, and of course, as soon as one makes a theme of something, it starts showing up everywhere! I’ve been working hard to follow through with my vision for the art piece I’m creating, putting in hour after hour of focus and determination in order to cultivate and crystalize the visual part of this project. I’m also working diligently to collaborate with the others involved in the various performative aspects of the show… As well as being present for the coaching sessions and keeping in contact with those who’ve come in and for whom I’m holding accountability.

And to that end, a number of the coaching session clients have started to report back to me about their current missions! And I’m impressed to say the least. It never fails to amaze me how coaching, when done well, can light fires, and bend time, and make super-powers for ordinary-extraordinary people. We all (myself included) thrive under the non-judgmental gaze, self-affirming dialogue, authentic encouragement, and the adjustable but fully-respected accountability of working with a coach. And when there’s someone with us, soundboarding, reflecting our own thoughts back to us, keeping track of the values we hold most dear, and urging us onward toward the things that matter most to us — well, that’s powerful stuff, to say the least! And  it goes a heckuva long way toward inviting us to honestly and bravely follow—>through.

And what happens when we follow—>through? Fulfillment! We get what we’re after! We learn from our experience! We move forward! We feel the rich, ripe verve of living a meaningful, successful, and rewarding life! Not bad for just a little follow-through on what you really want to do…

And to that end, I want to do a teeny bit of calling out, in service of your Most-Me. Two people signed up for sessions with me, but didn’t make it in for the appointment. 😦  I encourage you to follow—>through, and even if you’re a little shy now because you missed your session, don’t let that make you miss your opportunity! You’re worth giving yourself another chance!

Ok, now for the pics!

Just wanted to give you a sense of the back stage area of the show. Here’s the “neural network”, the “food factory”, and “personal hind-quarters”. My present sky. And how it shines. Some mirror shards I’ve had collected for later art use for 24 years…
Mom and Dad, here’s what’s happening to the bathroom mirror I shattered at College Street.  😉

Wave-Thingies! Shattered Plywood and Cardboard Pyramid Star Plastic Heart’s Reflector Transcendence I’ve got ten more days to make this thing as complete as she’ll get before the closing show. It’s going to take a lot of follow—>through on my part. But I’m up for it.

Check out my progress here. And check out the virtual tour of the whole installation (minus performances) here. And for a virtual trip to the shower go here.

I’m still seeking help cutting strips of paper and coffee bags and twirling them into spirals; as well as ripping apart lighters. Come by or comment below or send me some smoke signals if you’re interested in helping out! And thanks (in advance…)!

Also, be sure to check out the events list to your right and avail yourself of any interesting opportunities. This Friday we have some stellar performance art and theatre of the absurd, punctuated by delicious bites of local music. And the night after, a sacred evening of Core Shamanistic ritual.

∞

Keep following yourSelf until you Follow—>Through! And be well.

Sh¡ne!

Today’s theme is Sh¡ne and for me it is the quintessential take-home message of all of the coaching sessions I’ve done, and all the interactions with gallery visitors that I’ve had since I’ve been in the space. So many of us are coming to terms with, recognizing the desire to be, and leaping bravely into freeing our most-self. We’re coming out of hiding, turning off our invisibility powers, opening our chests fully and bravely, and radiating who we are out to all the wide world. And the resounding response is “Welcome! So good to see YOU.”

So may I encourage you to get in on it while you can, to catch the fever, to do yourself and the rest of us a favor and let out your Most-Me. We need it! And maybe everyone won’t, but most of us, and surely the ones that matter, will absolutely love you for it. Be brave. Be who you dream. Make the commitment today: “I will be my Most-Me — and nothing else!”

And if you want some support, come on down (or go here) and sign up for a  complimentary coaching session with me. Or just come tell me you’re committed to Sh¡ining, and let’s hug in celebration! It’s time for us to prove that there’s nothing better for all of us than being who we really are.

Here’s some other stuff I’ve been playing with:
Colored Vinyl Composite Tiles — Busted-up Wafer Board (fun to smash and to glue) — And the Wood Panel(ing) — Last night and today, Missoula has been proving that she is still in Montana, and let lose a tiny blizzard. Typical of Spring snow around here, nothing really “stuck” down in the valley, but the hills are heavily dusted. The “Sucker-Spring” almost got me this time, I swear. But every year, no mater how warm it gets in April, we always skip back to real Spring, which invariably includes snow. It made me so thankful to be in the toasty gallery last night. And what a glorious, fuzzy shimmer!

Don’t forget to wear yourself on your sleeve, my dears. It’s your time to Sh¡ne! Welcome to your Most-Me.

∞

Be well.

Acceptance and Flow

The theme for yesterday was “Acceptance”. It has been an omnipresent motif of the coaching sessions I’ve been doing (and certainly one of the messages I myself am picking up from the sessions), but yesterday was all about it. It’s a super power, to be sure… If one can wield it well, s/he has the power to overcome regret, find peace, and remain present for all that there is to be welcomed in this moment. It also has the power to suck all the drive out of us, to leave us paralyzed, and unfulfilled. A fine, double-edged, open hand…

One of the things I’ve had to practice my acceptance on is the video feed, and recording portion of this project. I can’t stand wasting time bickering with internet connections, microphone power switches, or dictatorial software that flakes at the drop of a hat. Buh. And yet, I have spent hours trying to make it all work for this endeavor. And last night was the pinnacle of my journey into the abysmal.

We were all set up, we were ready to shoot, we were at go — and then the entire system of capturing this show nose-dived. The live feed crapped out yet again. The switcher studio software for employing the iPad and phone I use for the feature feed locked us out and wouldn’t accept even the new password we created. The fancy adaptor for the shotgun microphone was all set up and plugged right into the iPad (which I was still going to use to just film straight), but was also not turned on.

Sooo… Of the wonderful, amazing, magical poetry that resounded in the air last night — I have saved none. Of the gorgeous, deep, and effervescent tones of J. Sherri playing on the gallery floor — I have only silent movies. I don’t even have pictures of everyone that performed last night! And while a big part of me is sure that the solution is to bang my head repeatedly and with abandon against the various devices of disservice with which I have surrounded myself (all of course piloted by my own ineptitude with this mysterious artform), I’ve chosen to put on my cape and start flexing my acceptance.

There’s really nothing I can do about it. At all. Not even a little bit. So I let go. I let go and I let go and I let it go again. It’s sticky… So I let it go again and this time it didn’t come back. Oh wait… No, all good.

The reason I am accepting this loss and moving forward is because that’s all there really is to do, and because it’s the only way to preserve today’s theme — “Flow”. I’ve got to be in it, I’ve got to let go into it, I’ve got to let it carry me forward to the end of this project. Otherwise — if I don’t accept what I’ve lost and what it has given me — then I’ll be stuck, I’ll be unable to move forward powerfully, I’ll be lost.

In order to do what I came here to do, I am — I must be —  moving on. And to me personally, it’s more important to stay in the flow, to point myself downstream, and go with the movement of which I am an integral part. To let go to the point of being guided by the collusion between my intention(s) and the Tao. Flow.

Many thanks to the stellar poets in the house last night. Mackenzie Cole, Juliana Lutz, Gary Lundy, Debby Florence, Josh Wagner, and J. Sherri all transformed us into liquid gold with their alchemy. Beautiful, powerful, and magical — every one.

Also, I’m reaching out (see me reaching?) to anyone who has free time and are anti-idle-handed. I need scissors wizards, lint wranglers, paper twirlers, and lighter dismantlers. Come on by, drop me a note on FB, or comment below if you’re available. And thanks in advance!

The live feed, such as it is, can be found here:
http://live.gigee.me/NathanMT.html
If it’s not streaming, try refreshing the whole window a dozen or so times… ❤

∞

Be well.

Work

Today’s theme is “Work” y’all and it’s been brewing for a while. And much like “Meta” and all the other themes, calling it forth brings it on multiple levels! I feel like all I’ve been talking and hearing about today is related to the idea of Work. My work. The work of working. Theories of meaningful work. Theories of finding meaning through work. Responsibility. Ownership. Personal power. Process. And more.

Today I’ve been chastised for not working harder or more or for more money. But I’ve also been encouraged, lauded, and held with appreciation, as well as recognized as the source of some potent inspiration for others coming and going by and in the gallery space. And — everything I’m doing (all the parts, the collaborations, the creation, the video feed) it’s all working! I’m making an interesting  piece of art on the micro level myself, and on the macro level with all the other wonderful artists in Missoula with whom I am collaborating. I am coming out to my community locally and globally as my “Most Me” — as a visiting writer, David Brown, and I referred to it for the first time last weekend — and I am being seen and welcomed in a way that is unprecedented in my life. And in addition to continuing to work with my existing clients, I’ve gotten to meet and do a session with a half dozen new people, some of whom will definitely be new clients; and all of them are walking away with some hefty empowerment.

Here’s some shots of the work in the gallery:

The first thing I see in the morning when I wake up is myself in the gallery. I am the work, and the frame for the work, and the instrument through which this work flows. I’m also very thankful for that passer-by across the street perfectly completing the composition of this shot… As I work with the material, it changes and shifts from it’s original First Friday set-up. All the bike pedal reflectors are now gone from this pile, but the sparkly egg is new since Sunday. Caught in my own web, here I am looking through the Meta DreamCatcher I made in the window of the gallery. I used ≈50′ of string collected from Butterfly Herbs’s textile deliveries; two dreamcatchers I was given long ago and have kept; and a clay vessel I made in 1997 while apprenticing with my potter cousins in North Carolina, which has not seen the light of day since, and which I call a Soul Vessel (you can see it just left of center, it’s got holes on every side).
Night view of work in progress. The info cart is on the far left, the bed is in the middle, the kitchen is just barely visible above that, and the hot glue gun is smoking! Here’s the 7th photo capture of the piece as it’s developing…Feel free to drop by! Or go to the live feed.

Also I need volunteer scissor-wizards and lint-wrangles to help me make some things for the piece. Scissor-wizards currently need to bring scissors. Lint-wranglers currently need hairspray.

Don’t forget to come over at 8pm this Friday for the Reading Schmeeding and J. Sherri!

And thanks to Jules and Connor for the shipping boxes! And to all the kind visitors I had today. And to Michael for the stellar conversation.

∞

Be well.

Meta!

Hi World! Today’s theme is “Meta”. And of course it’s showing up from multiple angles and in every interaction. On some level, I think all we are is our interaction(s), and I think of them as always informing us in more than a superficial way. Since I’ve been in the gallery space almost all of mine have been ultra-über-mega-META! Which suits me perfectly…

Also, I brought you some pictures to enjoy:

I made these two, strolling panoramics of all the pieces for the show in their First Friday displays. 

It was nearly impossible, without a skateboard or roller skates, to keep moving along and steadily at the same time but I wanted you to have a sense of them all in context, not just in chunks.Though there is also something to be said for the “chunks”… I love the piles in their individual compartments, sharing space with their neighbors… I’m especially in love with these rusty metal things. A classy stacking of tape rolls, hardwood flooring samples (on vinyl!), and flower petals… The glitzy side of town…

One afternoon, the sun came through the skylight in the high ceiling of the gallery and suddenly I was in an Elven Cathedral. This pattern on the floor was as though coming through a stained glass window, though the actual panes are clear. This is a great shot of where the Brink (as a space) and I are with each other these days — both framing and being framed by our interactions with each other and thus being seen differently.

And here’s a shot of the current, changing state of the visual piece.

Today, I also had a great meeting with Jenny Montgomery. I think we both got something pretty useful out of the hour and half we spent talking almost exclusively (and intentionally) Meta! She gave me a lovely astrological reading as part of that which totally rang true for where I am right now — both in the cosmos and at the Brink (in all the ways…).

Woohoo for multiple entendres, signs, and levels!

This Friday we have a stellar line-up, reading some poetry and prose at the Reading Schmeeding from 8-10! And right after that J. Sherri has prepared some compositions for your enjoyment as well!

Stay tuned…

∞

Be well.

The First Friday!

Greetings All! And Happy Good Friday. Today’s theme was “Going Public”. And the DreamCatching show went public in a major way!

For Starters, we got many of the bugs with the video upload and streaming worked out, so the show is now live to the world.

Here I am on Tuesday, working with the archival camera and it’s remote wrist screen. It’s so teeny, it’s like a joke from Zoolander — remember the tiny cell phones…

This is Martin, my camera tech guy. He may not know it, but he’s perfectly capturing my feelings about the technical aspects of the live video feed! And here’s my first (and maybe only…) selfie in the space. it was an equipment test. This is the info wall set up to help attendees at First Friday navigate and interact with the show. You may recall, we had 7 Nathans playing all the various roles I’ll inhabit during the course of the month-long project. This showed the audience the list of items in the visual piece I’ll be creating. The photos above are of the first two days of the visual piece; and I’ll be adding to them as I go, one for each of the 28 days.In fact, here’s the third one now… You can see the number of items that Jack Metcalf (played by Jeff Medley) starring as Art Making Nathan applied during the First Friday performance, as well as all the remaining items I’d placed at the base of the wall for people to see the materials. In the bottom right of frame, you can see Jeff left his costume splayed where he evaporated out of it.

I also want to send out huge thanks to all my actors. Mikki, playing Cassandra Rabe, got the Oscar for her performance as Living Nathan, who slept almost the entire time, except once when he got up to saunter sleepily to the bathroom and back. Josh Farmer (playing Nathan McTague) starred as Observing Nathan, and I think he might possibly have had the most fun. Although, all the Nathans (and one John Nilles) made a stupendous show, and each seemed to enjoy the endeavor in their particular way.

I was Host Nathan, and I talked more, and to more people, than I ever have in one night. I showed them around the space, helped them get into what we were doing, and helped those interested find out how best to join in on the fun. I even assisted a dozen people in getting signed up for a DreamCatching coaching session. It was such a resounding success that I almost wish that’s all there was to it… Almost.

Here’s a link to the short version of the beginning of our opening show! The only one’s you miss here are Sir Not Appearing in this Show Nathan, and Critical Nathan — they didn’t come inside the gallery…

Tomorrow’s theme is “Ignition”, and I have my first coaching sessions in the space; I get to really settle in and unpack my clothes, etc., which I haven’t had time to do yet; and I’ll set to work making the mélange. At 10pm, there’s a collaboratively created Full Moon Celebration. I have no idea what the attendees and I will do — except celebrate the moon! If you’re free, come on down and help us make it up!

See you soon.

∞

Be well.